February 2012
3 posts
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January 2012
1 post
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December 2011
42 posts
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End of week announcements
The skramz stonings ordered by King Herod disrupted xMANNAHx’s first tent show on their reformation tour, earlier this week. Luckily all in attendance escaped injury or death, however several wax cylinders were destroyed including the last known copy of Laurel’s self-titled LP.
Popular local scene member, Jesus of Nazareth, is celebrating his 21st birthday at The Old Bethlehem...
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Famous venue closed indefinitely
The Lazarus Tomb, one of the most famous cave show venues in the entire kingdom, located just east of Jerusalem, has been closed indefinitely after a series of tunnel collapses. The collapses seem to have been caused by damage to various support beams, most likely due to a lack of care and maintenance, however the situation is being treated as suspicious.
A local show-goer by the name of...
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Stone Your Rabbis reunion announced:
Capernaum Hardcore giants Stone Your Rabbis have announced a reunion and desert tour for this coming summer. The band who decided to call it a day after releasing their last EP Sermon Sung Belief. The band was riding high on success having released arguably one of their greatest albums to date From Carpentry To Crucifixion.
You can catch the band at one of my cave and tent shows with Kosher Life...
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The Sandiest Landscape sign to Opentomb Records
Well-renowned screamo band, The Sandiest Landscape, have recently been signed to Opentomb Records, home to such bands as Water Becomes The Wine, Temple! Temple! (I Was A Hasidic Jew), and The Synagogue Is A Sanctified Place And I Am No Longer Afraid To Pray.
After The Sandiest Landscape’s recent success with You Will Be Crucified, as well as their split release with now-label mates, We Were...
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“Sand and desert blurs the mirage
So removed from life, you’re Jewed too...”
– Flood Of 22 BC - Temple Fight
Lyrics Transcribed by Rabbi Lekshpin
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Jews Mistaken For Turks announce new tablet.
Post-Hardcore band Jews Mistaken For Turks are set to release their new notation tablet Down In Those Tombs. The band has officially issued this statement.
“We’re almost finished the recording of our latest album. I don’t know what to say, we’re sort of moving away from our post-hardcore sound. I think that’s from writing and recording here in these lovely caves at...
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Trapped Under Sand attack fan
In recent hardcore news, Trapped Under Sand have been the subject of local outrage after they beat up a well respected member and fan of the cave show hardcore scene.
The victim, known as Judas, was enjoying Trapped Under Sand’s set at the Mount Zion cave show, last Sabbath, when amidst his somewhat drunken excitement during the song, ‘Stay Warm’, accidentally stage-dived the...
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I Would Set My Lamb On Fire For You to release new...
Screamo band, I Would Set My Lamb On Fire For You, have announced the release of a new wax cylinder split early next year with screamo pioneers, Jeremiah’s Dream.
IWSMLOFFY have stated, “Although we were very pleased with the outcome of Believes In Palestine, we still think we have room for improvement and this split will hopefully be a step in the right direction, and the prospect of...
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Hundreds of Master Cylinders lost in revolt.
Iconic Wax Cylinder Label Tablet Records recently was victim to a purging of fire and brimstone when hundreds of fans took to the tents to revolt. It is believed the fans did this in response to recent signings of bands like A Sabbath To Remember, WHITESYNAGOGUE, Bethlehem Drive and Quizzing Quirinius. Several fans stated that they saved what they believed to be the last good masters of much loved...
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“Drink your jug of wine, drink your koscher grain!
Bottoms up and you...”
– Hebrew Violence - Menorah Shlep
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BREAKING NEWS: J E W C U R L MEMBER DEAD FROM...
Parables state that after a heated argument during an all ages cave show, a local hasidic youth crew took to stoning the band at their merch tent. The reported dead member was vocalist Markabus Dweller. Many members of the scene have stated that he will not be missed.
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xMANNAHx reform
In Skramz-related news, xMANNAHx have reformed and will be going on a traditional cave and tent show tour in support of their upcoming release: The Scroll Of Ezekiel.
Several supporting bands have also been announced, including: Pillar Takes The Pyramid, Burial Mess Hall, Who Prays So Loud, The Crucifix, and Disciple. Several other bands who have been rumoured to play include: Heathen Heathen,...
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